Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Why is Dating Haram?

Hello All my Viewers and Salaam Alaikum to my Muslim viewers I feel that today's topic is of great Importance and Requires a day for this topic so for the last two days i have been doing muchreaserch on this topic and here are my Findings... Now before we continue i have been known to have dated while being Muslim so yes i am just as Sinful as all of you and im human so bear with me as i do my best to work on it also!

and from a Hadith to get us Started!

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man is ever alone with a (non-mahram) women but the Shaytaan is the third one present.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2165; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1758)



Dating is getting to know each other. However the dating that is vogue in North America involves intimate relationship such as touching, kissing, petting, necking that ultimately results in pre-marital sex. This was not there in North America before the Second World War. The women used to wear long chaste dresses and their dating did not involve the close intimacy that we see today.
No premarital sex is allowed in Islam. Therefore, no dating is allowed on the premise that dating inevitably leads to premarital sex.
The choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime.  It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life - with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement. It is Islamically permissible for a couple to meet in chaperoned, or group environment. In Islam consent is very important- that is neither women nor men can be married against their will.  Islam has given this freedom of choice to both young men and women - they cannot be forced into a marriage that they don't want. 

Successful indeed are the believers; who are reverent during their Contact Prayers (Salat). And they avoid vain talk. And they give their obligatory charity (Zakat). And they maintain their chastity. Only with their spouses, or those who are rightfully theirs, do they have sexual relations; they are not to be blamed. Those who transgress these limits are the transgressors.  Qur'an 23:1-7

And tell the believing women to subdue their eyes, and maintain their chastity. They shall not reveal any parts of their bodies, except that which is necessary. They shall cover their chests, and shall not relax this code in the presence of other than their husbands, their fathers, the fathers of their husbands, their sons, the sons of their husbands, their brothers, the sons of their brothers, the sons of their sisters, other women, the male servants or employees whose sexual drive has been nullified, or the children who have not reached puberty. They shall not strike their feet when they walk in order to shake and reveal certain details of their bodies. All of you shall repent to GOD, O you believers, that you may succeed.  Qur'an, 24:31

There are clear verses in the Quran against the natural results of dating; from the seemingly innocent kiss to the more obvious. According to the Qur'anic commands unmarried men and women should maintain their chastity until marriage. (5: 5,  23: 5-7, 24: 3-0-31, 70: 29-331).  

Is it wrong for two people of the opposite sex to be very good friends at school and outside of school? Dr. Muzammil Siddiqui answers " Muslims should have good elations with all people, males as well as females. At school, at work, in you neighborhood etc. you should be kind and courteous to everyone. However, it is not allowed in Islam to take a non-mahram person or persons of the opposite gender as a very close friend.  
Such friendship often leads to Haram. In the Qur’an, Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala mentioned that good men and women are those who marry, do not have fornicating relationships and do not have “paramours” (“akhdan” see al-Nisa’ 4:25; al-Ma’idah 5:5). “Akhdan” are “sweethearts” or for a man a “mistress” and for a woman a “lover”. The Prophet - peace be upon him - said, whenever two strangers of the opposite gender are alone with each other, Satan becomes the third one between them. (al-Tirmidhi, 1091).  (1)

 Halal Dating
It is a common thing to see a white woman marrying a man from a Muslim country. A question arises as to how they met each other before their marriage? Was it a marriage arranged by their parents?

They had probably met at work and dated each other. In the past Muslims did not date because of arranged marriages. Are parents in North America going to arrange the marriages of their young children as is done in some Islamic countries?

In Islamic countries there are matrimonial brokers and agents who work to match the brides and bridegroom.  Parents have the support of the community in finding spouses for their children. Relatives, networking, social gatherings particularly weddings, make arranging marriages easier. In the United States, parents are left alone and cut off from these networks.



  In an arranged marriage, a Muslim family usually investigates the prospective candidate further - talking with teachers, professors, employers, friends, family, Imams, colleagues, etc. to learn about his or her character.

 "Young American Muslims have come up with creative solutions to dating--and they fall into roughly three categories. The first group is "Strict Muslims" who date halal (in an Islamically permissible style). The second group I call "Eid Muslims," because many are not strict in practice and attend mosques only on holidays. While technically they are dating haram (unlawfully in Islam), without chaperones, they're keeping physical intimacy to a minimum and parental involvement at a maximum. The third group dates "Sex and the City"-style (definitely haram), openly and freely leading a non-Islamic lifestyle, having premarital sex sometimes in a series of monogamous relationships. " 

So even after all this evidence that shows dating in islam is not allowed i still pesonaly think that if you are with her Walli and her and you DO NOT TOUCH in any fashion then this means of dating is allowed. because whats wrong with going to the movies or going out to supper with a Muslimah your intreasted in? i mean if her Walli is there with you i dont see anything wrong with it. However im not Sheikh and this is all my Personal Oppinions right here but i honestly think it is important you have such dates to get to know eachother before marrige. So inshallah i have made some sort of Impression on you and that you read it All. May Allah bless you and keep you safe inshAllah. Aameen.




 

1 comment:

  1. Shukran Brother. Very good article, very informative. Can't wait to read your future posts.

    ReplyDelete